Spinning Your Wheels?
Sometimes I fall victim to the to feeling that, despite how I felt in the past–even recently–I haven’t actually gotten anywhere.
I know that many people suffer from this, especially those who really desire more for and from their lives but don’t quite seem to make it happen. This is my first blog post for my ‘new’ site since I reclaimed the URL, so I decided to go with an old adage:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with but one step.
I have no plan for this post except to present three main points to think about, which are The Past, The Present, and The Future. Now let’s begin by discussing the past and how it might affect our feelings of getting nowhere.
1. The Past
One of the main problems that we have with our feelings in the present is our disconnect from the positive things in our past. While we tend to dwell on the way things are and how we feel NOW or how things may go in the future, we also drag up past events which only solidify or add fuel to the negative way we are currently seeing ourselves or our circumstances.
So, I believe the key to fixing this is quite simple, although actually accomplishing it is easier for some than it is for others:
We absolutely must remind ourselves of the good things we’ve accomplished and feel good about them.
This isn’t just “tooting our own horn,” but rather a way to fight off the negative emotions which threaten to not only pull us down today but continue to perpetuate the problems we have with having the life we truly desire. If you’re the type of person who can be disciplined enough to regularly write down your accomplishments and achievements as they happen, then this is a good way to keep a handy reminder nearby when that darkness seems to creep into your life and tell you that you’re still on the first step. You can simply whip out that journal and start reading. Remember that there is power in remembering, but we must choose wisely if it is to be beneficial for us and others. The great thing is that by taking yourself back to that moment when you first wrote it down, you’ll reconnect with the strong, positive, happy energy and emotions with which they were originally recorded, which will assuredly flood into your heart and mind again.
Remember that there is power in remembering
2. The Present
So the main problem I’m addressing here is something that can only affect us right now, here, in the present. In the heat of the moment, in the here and now, we suddenly feel as if either we are falling apart, our lives are out of control, we’ve gone backwards, we’re in the same place as last year/five years ago/forever, or we’re simply beating our heads against the wall and nothing ever seems to truly change for the better. Worse yet, it can even seem like others are standing nearby–acquaintances, colleagues, and especially friends and family–watching our efforts with mixed feelings ranging from pity to anger, humor to embarrassment.
Take a look at the image above of the motocross rider taking a head-first dive into the muddy water while a few fat guys watch comfortably a safe distance away. Who would you rather be? Seriously, think about it. Would you rather be the guy creating a nice image for the internet to share and a humorous memory for the spectators or would you rather be the ones sharing the image and memory with others about what you saw? Well, let me remind you of something, shall I? The onlookers are clearly not motocross racers…well, at least, not like any racers I’ve ever seen (successful ones, anyway). The guy drinking the brown water, despite this crash, has undoubtedly spent countless hours practicing and racing before this occurred. Not to mention that, think about how high is able to fly–it absolutely MUST be much higher than any of the guys standing nearby.
The point is that that the guy crashing into the water is obviously much different than the others: he is actively doing something that requires effort. It is easy for us as spectators to stand idly by and criticize, laugh at, or complain about what we’re seeing, but the truth is that the winners are the ones who fail and fail often. If we do not fail, then how can we possibly learn, grow, succeed, and ultimately triumph? So, I believe an important key in the present is to remember that failure itself is not something to be viewed with any type of aversion. Rather, we should embrace it and be thankful for it, as it offers us the best opportunity to see exactly what it is that’s holding us back or keeping us down. So, now, in the present, ask yourself “What have I been doing over and over that isn’t working?” and then take steps to try a different path. (This is an excellent time to recommend seeking out books or mentors who can actually show you a better way to do just that).
the truth is that the winners are the ones who fail and fail often
3. The Future
The last little key that I’ll share with you about the future is, once again, something that is always rooted in your present and is something practical and easy that anyone can do. Furthermore, its benefits are immediate and, if practiced well and regularly, can get you to where you truly desire to be.
Actually, the truth is that we already ARE truly where we want to be. How can that be, you wonder? Well, without putting our personal beliefs to the side for a moment, we could talk about “the universe, God, faith, the secret,” –whatever–and introduce an endless debate of what philosophies or religious systems we adhere to, follow, etc. However, my goal is to present you practical keys with which anyone can succeed, no matter what their beliefs or predisposition.
So what’s the key for destroying your feelings of failure about your past or present and setting yourself up for success in the future? That’s simple: Visualization.
A long and notable list of successful people across this earth and spanning history have used just this method to help not only make their dreams a reality but also keep them focused and feeling exactly how they want to feel. In truth, we actually cause the things to happen which we most often think about or, in too many cases, worry about. Imagine, then, what would happen if we replaced these regular feelings of worry about the future, despair over where we are, and regret, remorse, or guilt about the past, choosing instead feelings of joy, happiness, appreciation, success, fulfillment, acceptance, support, closeness, and–oh yes–love. Regardless of what we believe, where could be the harm in putting our fears to rest and exchanging them for feelings of success?
Over a year ago, I wrote a short film and we shot it on basically a zero budget and tight time frame, all within the span of a few days while I was briefly visiting the US for Christmas. The main character of the film (Empty Chairs), Vincent, struggling with regret for a past event from years ago which wasn’t even his fault, attempts to heal his wounds by inviting three friends who suffered the most from the event. As he finally begins to open his heart to them, he says “I hoped–hope–that I can bury this, finally…but in a good way. The kind of way that is more like putting something to rest, and not hiding it.” And I tell you the truth that in order to overcome our feelings of wheel-spinning, we must do the same thing: bury our unhappiness with the past in a way that is like putting it to rest and not hiding it, for if we do not, then it will not have been truly dealt with and will continue to haunt us.
bury our unhappiness with the past in a way that is like putting it to rest and not hiding it
The step forward from there is to simply sit, be still and calm, close our eyes, and imagine. Imagine the desires of our heart and see them as if they are already true and we already have them. With eyes closed, allow yourself to see the surroundings and/or events which you desire from your heart, even hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching if possible. Whatever it is that was placed into your heart isn’t there by my mistake my friend–it’s there for a purpose and that desire is YOU. In The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, he simply says that “the strong desire to do something is proof that the ability is within us to do it.” Therefore take heart, literally, by listening to it and visualizing your success. By doing this regularly and making yourself to actually feel the results of that which you desire but not not yet have, you create within you the ability to become ready for it, accept it, and live it.
I hope this helps you as much as it did me. Thank you and my best to you.
-Brandon A. English